Stay at home Mom verses Working Mom why are we still debating this?

I really don’t understand why this is still an issue; as a woman, and a mother it bothers me to see women arguing with each other over this silly issue.  And it is a silly issue.  I made a choice to stay home with my kids and it doesn’t make me any less smart, funny, social, creative, etc. than the woman who chose to have kids and work. I got to watch Anderson Copper today and the topic was stay at home mothers verses working mothers and there were two things that really bothered me about the show the first was a study done by “experts” in North Carolina said working mothers were happier than their stay at home counterparts.  The reference to the study lead to a panel of six women passing judgment on each other because some chose to stay home and others worked.  Why do we as women allow ourselves to get caught up in these trivial debates?   Why do we allow others to put us on the defensive about the choices we make as mothers and why are we so quick to judge a mother because she’s raising her children her way and not ours? When the reality is there one isn’t better than the other.  In both groups there are women who are happy, there are women who are sad, there are women who would rather be on the other side of the fence and can’t for what ever reason. 

The second thing that bothered me was the way the working moms kept using the word “lazy “ to describe the stay at home moms and how they are not as concerned about losing the baby weight and staying at home is an excuse to not be active and challenged.  The reason why the term “lazy” bothered me so much is because lazy defined means declines to do work.  And at home moms are not declined to do work but inclined to do work.  I can attest that being lazy is a luxury that I don’t have.  Along with all of the normal duties such as errands, cooking, cleaning, getting the kids odd to school and various activate.  I also take boot camp, run, go to school, and write, I read a lot I care about the way I look, and I am challenged everyday. The objective of motherhood is not to tear down other mothers or judge them for their life choices.  The objective off motherhood to raise healthy, happy, well adjusted, productive members of society.

Because at the end of the day we’re not that different, every one of us has had to clean mystery stains off our walls, floors, and child.  We have all run to the store at the last minute to get the supplies for the project that is due the next day.  We have all walked the floor at two in the morning with a screaming baby.  We’ve all fumed as we cleaned up a crappy toddler.      


One thought on “Stay at home Mom verses Working Mom why are we still debating this?

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  1. I am so happy that you said this and that I’m not alone. I am the most active woman I know and healthier than most working mothers that I know. It’s insane that it isn’t acknowledged that we, as stay-at-home moms, not only maintain the household, but have very hands-on relationships with our children while working mothers send their children to someone else for X number of hours out of the day. My daughter’s Earth Day just passed and, because I don’t work, I was able to make 72 cupcakes for all of the 4th Graders at her school. These things make a difference because, this time last year, when I was working, I had to miss her party altogether and rely on family to throw it for her. I wouldn’t go back for any amount of money. Well done, Honey. I enjoyed this and, as you can see, it evoked a very emotional response from me.

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