Perspective is a powerful thing, and when you combine perspective with observation and hindsight more often than not there is a level of clarity reached that allows you to live a fuller life. I grew up in my mother’s family, a female dominated family where women run everything and the men who stay have little to no voice. The men who marry in are reduced to the role of moneymaker. I can honestly say I am the only woman in my mother’s family that does not go through my husband’s wallet taking cash or make a mad grab for his check on payday. Continue reading “For My Own Peace of Mind I Decline” →

To all people but especially to black women it is just hair. As black women we cannot allow of self worth, our intelligence, our contribution to society to be determined by our hair. As black women we are the only race of women where are our can become a topic of national debate. There are work and school regulations implemented around our hair. Our hair is a source of contention, hatred, and ridicule. Continue reading “It is just Hair” →

Yesterday North Carolina residents passed an amendment to their constitution that would effectively recognize heterosexual marriage as the only legal relationship in the sate.  So not only did the residents of North Carolina take away civil rights of homosexual couples but they took away the rights of heterosexual couples as well because now heterosexual common law marriages have no standing either.  I looked at pictures of the people who supported the amendment and one woman was wearing a shirt that had a man and woman stick figure and underneath it said “real marriage”.  I wished I could have asked her if this is a real marriage and all you need is one man and one woman that why do so many heterosexual marriages end in divorce?  Why are there so my incidents of domestic violence in “real marriages”? Why are their so may unhappily married, “real marriage” couples?  But as much as I would like to ask the question I know that all I would get in return is misinterpreted and misquoted excerpts of the Bible.

We are a nation that clearly expresses in our national Constitution that our nation shall have no formal religion yet laws are made based off of one formal religion’s ideals.  When are people going to realize that gay marriage is about civil rights, it’s about equal protection under the law.  It’s not about moral judgment, or enforcing your moral beliefs on others.  We have become a nation that talks about inclusion but constantly excludes the people within its borders.  If you don’t believe in gay marriage that’s your right, and don’t marry someone of the same sex but how dare you create, and support laws that prevent others from living their lives, loving their spouses, and raising a family.

As a black woman married to a white man the issue of gay marriage reminds me of the issue of interracial marriage in the United States.  Not too long ago states and the people who reside within did everything they could to stop black and whites from marring they protested, and just like the gay marriage issue they took abstract verses in the Bible and distorted them to support their narrow-minded cause.  They talked about how it was unnatural, going to be the down fall of man and the United State, they created laws to prevent it and they did it all under the guise of it being God’s will.  These disillusioned people did everything they could to prevent people of different races from loving each other, marring, and raising a family.  And now sadly instead of learning from their mistake they have decided to make gay marriage the outlet for their distorted views.  When are we as a nation going to realize that civil rights are for everyone not just for the select few?  You don’t have to agree with gay marriage but you don’t have the right to deny someone the right to marry whom he or she loves.  I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again there is nothing someone can do in their relationship that can under mind or weaken the marriage that my husband and I have.  So if two people of the same sex marring under minds or weakens your marriage than your marriage wasn’t all that great to begin with and maybe instead of denying someone else the right to marry you need to take all of that energy your using to deny civil rights and put it into strengthen you relationship you’re your spouse and mind your business.  Because it’s real easy to say your doing God’s will when he’s not here to contradict what your saying.   And as for the book of Leviticus instead of pulling out one vague verse and manipulating to fit a view try reading the whole chapter or better yet the whole Bible.